Wednesday, July 15, 2009

My thighs were stolen...

My mother-in-law found this story, and I just couldn't resist sharing it...TOO FUNNY!


You've heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves...

My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs. It was just that quick. The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to a life in jeans.

And then the thieves struck again. My butt was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear-end to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier. But my new butt was attached at least three inches lower than my original! I realized I'd have to give up my jeans in favor of long skirts.

Two year ago I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was fixing my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arm swing to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary - my body was being replaced one section at a time. What could they do to me next?

When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey neck, I decided to tell my story. Woman of the world, wake up and smell the coffee! Those "plastic" surgeons are using REAL replacement body parts - stolen from you and me! The next time someone you know has something "lifted", look again - was it lifted from you?

THIS IS NOT A HOAX. This is happening to women everywhere every night. WARN YOUR FRIENDS!

P.S. Last year I thought someone had stolen my boobs.
I was lying in bed and they were gone! But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.

Thought this was to important not to pass on.

These same thieves come in my closet and shrink my clothes! How do they do it???


Lisa said...

Oh my gosh! This would be so much funnier if not so true! :D

Mrs.Kwitty said...

OMG--they have hit me too!!! They must be stopped!

Dang them....dang them to heck!

Smiles, Karen

Debb said...

I love the story it's so funny. thanks for stopping by the blog I seen youtttttttr skeleton box and love itr pretty cool,I think everyone did a great job. this is my first time ever in a magazine.